Shocking Discovery we have found stunning information that will shock the world!!!!! An alien lives among us! Actually, they live in leonardo, newjersey and pose as a middle school girl. All we know is that she screams in bathrooms while trying to sing! We should use her as a pinata. The space probe the shuttler found her. This probe is special because it can see through the dense space gas provided in the atmosphere of the materialized matter dissolving anomously into condensed neutrons which form throughout the sections of lightyears that can not be seen on the basic periodic table, which as we know was created in hyperlinks to the java condenser in the machine of established mechanisms which formed on the 29th of June, which happens to be my birthday! Now, don't thank me thank Clair Montoporinte. Remember, if you ever see her, remember she is harmless, but dangerous with her horrendous vocals. RUN! CAT"S ATTACK Breakin News! We have just received this from FBI headquarters. There is a strange cat picture online. This cat is affecting people throughout the Earth. This cat is referred to as the "Happy Cat" It just pops up on word documents and then becomes uneraseable! There is this college student who claims" i have had the unfortune to meet this deadly creature. It goes into your computer and just stays there. I had a 150 page report due, and then it appeared. I was expelled from Yale university because they thought it was a joke. Actually, it was for my biology class. The teacher got so mad, she flipped out on me and my friend Ozneroled xela. (he is Asian) Then, i lost my home and was thrown out onto the streets. Now, i work as a fry cook for Mc. Donald's. Major Discovery Were you taught that Mars was a planet? Well, if you were you were taught wrong. A scientist from NASA claims that Mars is indeed one of Jupiter's moons. We have found this out because unlike the other planets Mars takes an awkward movement, which we now know is the same path that Ganymede (one of Jupiter's moons) took. This is a major discovery, because it is possible that Earth is revolving around something other than the sun. We will update this when we get more information on this topic What a Life! Here is a story which you might find amusing. Remember: All of this information is true, and we swore on the chopsticks from China, and we would never want anything to happen to them. Ok, there was this guy named Alan. He just graduated high-school and needed a job. He decided to start working at Mc. Donald's. He started off as a frycook, which is always better than the guy standing outside in a burger suit. The third day he was there, the owner of all of the Mc. Donald's came for inspection. He hated how the manager of the store had managed this store. So, the owner fired him and randomly chose Alan to be the new manager. On Alan's first week of work he forgot to show up. The first day that he showed up he destroyed the place. Then, when the owner came, he loved how alan destroyed it. The next day the owner died. In the will it gives Alan the company. Then, Alan decides to sell it for 350 million dollars. With this money he started a toothpaste company. Since he still had money to spare, he decides to buy all of the toothbrush companies in America. Then, he blew himself up. What a wasted life!