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This is it! Finnaly the Beermann has a homepage! You may ask why in the world such a thing is necassery. For once, now everyone can get a piece of the Miky, worldwide and even at the same time! And secondly on this page you will find all sorts of usefull updates on world news, such as the Gnomes trying to take world domination (it's really happening you know!) Downfalls to this page may be that if overconsumed it may cause modern classified mental syndroms, such as a relaxed view on life and/or may cause other mental issues. At the apperence of any of the list of syndroms below, please stop use of this page and consult your nearest psycologist immidiatly!
- 1.You start speaking to yourself while no one else is around
- 2.You start beliving the Sun is to loud
- 3.You believe trees are coming to get you
- 4.You think you can see seperate atoms in the air
- 5.The simplest word you can think of is at least 10 letters
- 6."I am out of bed and made it to my computer, what more do i need"
- 7.You can sleep with your eyes open
- 8.You start switching languages in the middle of the sentence ( If this syndrom accures and you do
not speak more then one language you are in real trouble)
- 9.You think SPAM stands for Suicidal Penguin Attracting Me
- 10. Social life? What's that? Can I download one of those of the Internet
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The Gnomes are here! And they are out for world domination! You may believ these small creatures to be little and insignificant, but they are far from it. Gnome are some of the smartes creatures on this planet, and used to make some of the worlds criminal masterminds. But to resent date these creatures have changed their goals from causing trouble too world domination! Why, simply beacause they got tierd of their post as second smallest creature with near Human intelligence (smallest being the pixies). The stronghold of Gnome power is the IBO orginisation in which the Gnomes train the next generation to be mindless accepting of facts, and cause all but the most obidient to dropout with a range of totaly unacivably high standards. Therefor it is strongly recomendet to read the Gnome extermination guide for further information on how to act when encountered with one of these vicious little creatures . |
Gnome extermination guide! Read carefully to deal with the rising Gnome threat |
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As seen on the picture at the right collum, gnomes are a extremly vicous little race. Though Gnomes are very easyally recognised due to their size and their constant need to shield their head from the sun with some kind of hat or hood, they should by no means be taken lightly. Gnomes who stand at the heart of the modern corruption of youth throu the IB orginisation, are increadably smart. Most of the time you think you trickt them, they are probably just setting you up. But what is their greatest streath is also their weakness, if ever encounted with one of their kind it is strongly advised to do the most unlogical things possible.
How to defend yourself apon Gnome attack?
Gnomes are know to be the most overorginised and burocratic beings on this planed, it is therefor essential for anyone who wishes to effectily defend themselfs against gnomes to explor this weekness to the fullest. Here follows a list of the most effectiv anti gnome weapons.
By far most affectiv gnome weapon are random cutouts from your local phone cathalog. If thrown correctly, the Gnome will imidiatly feel the need to order these cutouts alphabetically giving you time to make your esscape. Of cours the more cutouts there are the more effectiv this weapon will become since it will take even a number of gnomes a long time to orginise a sufficiant numer of cutouts.
Another thing worth of note is that all gnomes have a mortal fear of their ancient enemy, the houswives. For many hundrets of years have the houswives keep homes clean of all gnome infestation, and taken many gnomes to their graves. After this long conflict all Gnomes stear clear of all Houswives esspecially the ones carrying their most trusted weapon, the broom. |
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