Two idiots Two idiots walk into a saloon. Both have no money so they ask the bar tender if he will run up a tab. "No chance" the tender replies. With this a gun slinger walks in holding a head of an Indian. The bar tender lines up twelve of his finest bourbons and proclaims they are on the house! The gun slinger drinks them and the tender repeats his actioni , he then shouts "I hate Indians,i they steal my sheep , kill my wife , hate them! I will give anyone who brings me the head of an Indian $100 and free drinks for life!" Both the idiots hear this and run for the chance and go in search for Indians. Suddenly they see one riding a horse. One of them throws a rock which smacks the indian right in the head. The indian falls off his horse straight down a revine. They both climb down and one starts hacking the Indians head off , while the other one hears a noise and looks up to see 1000 indians surrounding the revine and pointing bows ands arrows at them! He taps his mate and says "Quick, you'd better see this!" His friend looks up and exclaims "Oh my god! We're rich!" Jesus Jesus was standing in for Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates when an old man shuffled up to him. "Name?" said Jesus. "Joseph" replied the old man. "Occupation?" asked Jesus. "Carpenter" replied the old man. "And did you have a son?" asked Jesus. "Yes, I did" said the old man. "Describe him" said Jesus. "Well", said the old man "he was strange and childlike and he had nails in his hands and feet". Jesus looked at the old man and said "Father?!" The old man peered back and said... "..... Pinocchio?" thirteen, thirteen, thirteen a man is strolling past a lunatic asylum when he hears a loud chanting."thirteen thirteen thirteen!" goes the noise from the mental hospital wards. The mans curiosity gets the better of him and he searches for a hole in the security fence.Its not long before he finds a small crack, so he leans forward and peers in. instantly ,someone jabs him in the eye.As he reels back in agony,the chanting continues "fourteen fourteen fourteen!" Priceless JOKES $8 for the beer i bought $16 for the bottle of coolers light $24 for 2 L's of wisky Bring home the girl who drank all of the above PRICELESS nothing