This week in Britain, young children are being terrorized by the idea of Harry Potter's World Denomination Scheme, a newly discovered conspiracy which has just recently been declared the reason for teenage girls' obsessions with Harry Potter.
Also the cause of many broken limbs, the organization focuses on brainwashing office workers to play quidditch on rooftops.
After Harry Potter actor, Daniel Radcliffe, reported being tackled and a piece of his hair removed in a diner, British officials investigated the situation.
An individual by the name of Stephanie N. Deckert of Gettysburg, PA has been impersonating Emma Watson while directing her brainwashed cult members to steal expensive science equipment.
It has recently been discovered that the equipment was to be used to make a clone love army of Radcliffe.
In addition Deckert is now under observation in France for her obsessive stalking behavior.
